Archives for posts with tag: advice

How do you keep the love going? I don't know

Question posed: I got the girl, now how do I maintain the relationship?

That’s about as difficult to answer as, “What is she thinking?”

Answer, in short: I have no fuckin’ clue.

I’ve failed enough relationships to last a lifetime. I’m probably the last guy to ask. I do, however, know what not to do. That’ll take way too long to list though, and probably not what you’re looking for.

The best advice I could give you is, don’t do anything she wouldn’t want you to do and do the things she likes. That varies, of course. It’s your job to find those things out. That, in itself, helps to maintain the relationship.

An incredibly successful man, both in business and in life, once told me, “Be the man she wants.” It made sense at the time. Still does, in fact. But that breeds another question; what does she want? Most of the girls I know have no clue what they want. When they do, it changes the next week.

As frustrating as that can be, it’s what you have to do. The good thing is, if you pay good enough attention it’ll be easy.
Read the rest of this entry »


Woman chewing gum

She knows what's up.

Toothbrushes aren’t that expensive. Neither is toothpaste, yet you refuse to combine the two at least two times a day. Gum. Buy a bunch and have it on you at all times. Don’t forget to chew it either.

Nasty ass, funky breath is a MAJOR turn off. You wouldn’t want to make-out with eight cans of shark shit would you? Neither would I. That’s what your breath smells like though.

I always have gum on me. You’ll see me chew a piece most of the time. Even if I’m at a bar. Especially if I’m drinking. Beer breath is gross. Gum and beer might SOUND gross but your breath is worse. Try it.

Gum disease isn’t that much of a laughing matter so if you have it then I apologize. I’d get that handled asap if I were you though. Still, gum helps. Listerine helps. Brushing helps. Get the point?

I’m not here to judge what you eat but if you enjoy the taste of shit you won’t make many friends, let alone boyfriends. Guys, this goes for you too. It’s directed more towards women though, because I’m not trying to kiss on a guy.

So please, for my nostrils sake, for your sexual life’s sake, and for everybody else’ sake in a 10 foot radius of you, brush your teeth and have some gum in your mouth at all time. Mints work fine too.

That is all.


As surprising as it may sound, sex isn’t the only factor that plays a role in my life. Music plays a huge part and every now and then a song (or two) drops that I relate to as if my psyche wrote it itself. These two songs do just that:

Kid Cudi ft. Kanye West – Erase Me

As much as I love making a lasting impression, all I want with an ex-girlfriend is to forget it ever happened and for her to forget that I exist. I’d consider going the Spotless Mind route if it were available. Harsh? Yeah, I agree. Read the rest of this entry »


Today, while in the bathroom, standing in front of the urinal, something caught my eye. Curious as I am, I decided to investigate. Smeared against the wall, just underneath the handle, was the most hideously large booger just chillin’ there for everyone who needed to pee to take part in. My first thought: “That’s fuckin’ gross.” Second thought: “How the fuck did someone manage to get piss on TOP of the urinal?”

As a man you’re inevitably going to see/hear/smell some gross happenings in the bathroom. That’s life and I’m cool with that, but seriously, a nostril nugget AND piss on top of the urinal? Why? That’s completely unnecessary and shows that whoever did it is obviously not hygienic, and of course smooth, enough to ever get laid without paying for it. This goes the same for the guys who shoot snot out of their nose in public like it’s manliest thing to do. Grow up douchebag; we’re not in kindergarten. Read the rest of this entry »

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