Archives for posts with tag: girls

This goes to that “special” person I know and hate on occasion, yet continue to be friends with.

I’ve wanted to say this for a little while now, but couldn’t find the right way to say it let alone the time, so here goes…

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck YOU.

Why are we friends? I honestly don’t know.

I thought you were cool at one point but something changed… I can’t figure out what, but it felt like it was me and/or my imagination. It wasn’t. It’s you. You’re just a bitch.

Let’s forget each other and never speak again.

I wish I had the balls to say this to the person, but I don’t, so I’ll just ignore them for now…


How do you keep the love going? I don't know

Question posed: I got the girl, now how do I maintain the relationship?

That’s about as difficult to answer as, “What is she thinking?”

Answer, in short: I have no fuckin’ clue.

I’ve failed enough relationships to last a lifetime. I’m probably the last guy to ask. I do, however, know what not to do. That’ll take way too long to list though, and probably not what you’re looking for.

The best advice I could give you is, don’t do anything she wouldn’t want you to do and do the things she likes. That varies, of course. It’s your job to find those things out. That, in itself, helps to maintain the relationship.

An incredibly successful man, both in business and in life, once told me, “Be the man she wants.” It made sense at the time. Still does, in fact. But that breeds another question; what does she want? Most of the girls I know have no clue what they want. When they do, it changes the next week.

As frustrating as that can be, it’s what you have to do. The good thing is, if you pay good enough attention it’ll be easy.
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An attractive chick unzipping her shorts

I’m not making any big discovery with this one. In fact, I’d be surprised if someone wasn’t aware of this already. Nevertheless, it still needs to be said.

I’ve recently come across a string of girls who use sex as some sort of excuse to escape reality. By this, I mean they have sex as a way to avoid the issue(s) that’s troubling them. To be fair, it’s my belief that they’re not aware this is the reason they do it.

If you aren’t following, don’t worry. This one’s slightly harder to explain than I had hoped. Let me give you an example: Take a girl who’s been in a long relationship with a man. They love each. Live together. Everything seems fine in the world until the guy she’s in love with wants to break up.

Following so far? Good.

Now this guy, as we’ve seen many times before, confesses to having feelings for another woman. He leaves this girl for the other woman. Complete and utter heartbreak ensues.

True story.
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Sometimes it amazes me how the smallest things can make the biggest impact.

I get one text and my world completely shifts. Just one sentence and my whole perspective on things is different. A text. That’s not supposed to happen. Not to me.

A part of me thought I was dreaming when I read it. See, I was at a party sharing a good time with my favorite people when it happened. Out of the blue is an understatement. I may as well have been completely alone in my own universe as I read it.

It took three times reading it to realize what she wrote was real. If anybody had been paying attention they would’ve seen the biggest, dumbest smile to ever cross my face.

I won’t share what was said. I’m scared of what it means. I could quite easily fall in love with this chick and that scares the hell out of me.

Being aware of how she effects me was a huge factor in the reason I haven’t told anybody about her and, of course, the text she sent on Saturday. I’m afraid if I told someone it’ll become real. That makes absolutely no sense, I know. And if it is true, I’m screwed by this post.

What’s even more fucked up is that I’m scared more of having a relationship with her and it ending badly than I am of asking her to have that relationship. What was once optimism has now turned into pessimism.

My initial instinct was to stop talking to her and just push her away. That’s easy. I can do that. I have plenty of practice doing that. Having friends not know about her makes it that much easier. So why haven’t I done that yet? I have no idea. I want to. No. I really don’t.

Maybe the hole that was dug out of my heart from years ago is slowly repairing itself. Maybe she’s helping fill the void. Maybe I actually like the feeling of this. Maybe I’m curious to see where it’ll go. Maybes are all I have right now.

I do know this though. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Things are going very well right now so why change them. I don’t think I will. Yet.


A question was asked of me, not too long ago, on how a guy can play hard to get.

To be honest, I really didn’t have an answer so I ignored it. Until now.

To be fair, I didn’t start this blog with the intention of giving dating advice, but, I’d like to give this one a shot if you don’t mind. If I look stupid in the process that’s your fault. You need better judgment. I’m kidding. Slightly.

Enough chatter, here goes…

I can only assume that this person, who shall remain nameless, wanted the answer because he moves too quickly. This wasn’t a quick assumption either. It basically boiled down to the question of, “Why would a guy want to play hard to get?”  I could’ve sworn only girls did this…

I started to write a massively long list of things to do and realized I was over-analyzing this. It’s really fuckin’ simple.

Act like you don’t give a shit while still making yourself known to her. If you’re able to do this while remaining calm, you’re golden.

You want her number? Get it in a way that it seems like you couldn’t care whether or not she gave it to you but without being a total ass that she refuses.

It may sound confusing at first but try not to think about it so hard. The important part in all of this is that you remain calm and not look needy. Girls love a guy with confidence. They also happen to love a game, whether they admit it or not.

So to answer your question on how do you play hard to get, be calm and have confidence and don’t rush things. Take things one step at a time. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to be a dick to a certain extent.


Women love drama

It’s a well known fact. Women love drama. Maybe a generality that all women do but I’ve yet to meet one who doesn’t. Maybe another generality, but who’s keeping track.

If you’re a woman reading this, you’re probably thinking, “Omg, I don’t love drama at all!” Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all say that.

But why exactly do they love drama? Good question.

If it’s not drama with their boyfriend, it’s drama with their girl friend. If it’s neither of those then, well, it’s whatever they can think of.

I used to think it was just because they’re women and have vaginas. Vaginas are confusing so they are too. Makes sense right? This theory could be true but it’s an easy way out. I needed more.

My other theory was a much worse one. I figured it was just in their DNA. After meeting so many girls with drama I began to come up with any reason as to why they were the way they were. Lazy.

But I think I know why now. Women are problem solvers by nature. What happens if they don’t have a problem to solve? They find one. What’s drama? Another term for problems. The only reason why a woman’s drama is different then a man’s problem is their more vocal about it. And they like to let it draw on and on. And on. And…….. on.

Maybe some don’t realize their dramas are actually problems so they never see the solution. Who knows. The fact still remains though. Women love drama. Maybe if enough read this there will be less in the world and we’d all be happy for it.

Wishful thinking.


Why big boobs are awesome

Good. Lord.

Two words: bouncy, bouncy.

First off, no. This does not, in any way, contradict my previous post. Small boobs ARE awesome. So are big ones.

It’s true that big boobs get a lot of press, not to mention looks, but let’s see if we can approach this in a different way.

What is it that makes big boobs so awesome? Well, most of them are soft. Softness is not to be taken lightly. It’s a big deal. Like many leather-bound books and an apartment that smells of rich mahogany big.

As the first sentence infers, they bounce. Like a trampoline. Running? Of course. Walking? Yes. Tip-toeing? Amazingly.

If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know that I fancy the hour-glass shape of a woman. It’s impossible to have one without big boobs. They’re pretty much the best accessory a woman can have.

What’s that? You like butts? Me too! Big boobs compliment the greatest of butts like peanut butter and jelly. They just work together.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Cleavage. Where would this world be without cleavage? Lost. That’s where.

Big boobs are fun to play with too. Bored? Not when your girl has big boobs.

In other words, I love them.


Why small boobs are amazing

Absolutely adorable.

Two words: No bra.

How amazing is it when you see two small boobies in an American Apparel shirt with no bra? That’s a rhetorical question but if you really need to know, then, they’re amazing.

They’re little rays of sunshine in the afternoon after a cloudy morning.

They fit in your hand, in your mouth, but unfortunately, not in your pocket. Probably my only complaint.

I’m also a fan of small nipples and areolae and it just so happens that most small boobs have those. It’s perfection really. If you have small boobs, show those works of art off. Feel proud.

The fact that small boobs come in different shapes is the icing on the cake. The tear drop? Awesome. The perfect circle? Awesome. The always hard? Awesome. The banana? Awesome. The Hershey Kiss? Yeah, awesome.

I’d rather have small boobs as a pet than cat, dog or any other animal. In all honesty, I’d treat them better too.

And? They never sag. They just stay there all perky and happy as a kid in a candy shop.

In other words, I love them.


Woman chewing gum

She knows what's up.

Toothbrushes aren’t that expensive. Neither is toothpaste, yet you refuse to combine the two at least two times a day. Gum. Buy a bunch and have it on you at all times. Don’t forget to chew it either.

Nasty ass, funky breath is a MAJOR turn off. You wouldn’t want to make-out with eight cans of shark shit would you? Neither would I. That’s what your breath smells like though.

I always have gum on me. You’ll see me chew a piece most of the time. Even if I’m at a bar. Especially if I’m drinking. Beer breath is gross. Gum and beer might SOUND gross but your breath is worse. Try it.

Gum disease isn’t that much of a laughing matter so if you have it then I apologize. I’d get that handled asap if I were you though. Still, gum helps. Listerine helps. Brushing helps. Get the point?

I’m not here to judge what you eat but if you enjoy the taste of shit you won’t make many friends, let alone boyfriends. Guys, this goes for you too. It’s directed more towards women though, because I’m not trying to kiss on a guy.

So please, for my nostrils sake, for your sexual life’s sake, and for everybody else’ sake in a 10 foot radius of you, brush your teeth and have some gum in your mouth at all time. Mints work fine too.

That is all.


I just figured this out. It took a realization or two but I did it. Women love reading into what men say.

With texting, it only gets more complicated. It’s understandable. I’ve mis-duplicated texts before. So, to avoid the drama of unnecessary advances I’ve become increasingly more blunt with people; mainly chicks. I’ve been confused as being a dick. I can be, but that’s not the intention. Once a girl gets to know me they learn it’s just how I am.

“I think we should have sex so we can get rid of the sexual tension between us”
Yeah, I’ve said that.

The advantages of being blunt are endless. I don’t waste as much time trying to explain myself. I let every girl know what I’m about up front. If they get disappointed expecting more, which OFTEN occurs (what the fuck is that about? If I tell you I’m going to act a certain way, you should expect me to act that way. Nothing more, nothing less.) I remind them of our prior conversations – the argument ends. Being that I hate arguments, it’s perfect. Another advantage, depending on what I go after (sex) it becomes less of a game and I get what I want faster.

“I want your number, but only if we’re fuck buddies.”
Said that too. And, yes, I got her number.

Truthfully, I don’t really have a censor. That deteriorated with all the relationships with women throughout my lifetime. Oh, and I enjoy shocking people with the  brain diarrhea that spills out of my mouth.

It’s also easier. Why say/ask something in a roundabout kind of way when all you want is a straight answer? It doesn’t make sense and I wish you’d stop it. Say what’s on your mind and I guarantee you’ll be happier for it.

So that’s why I’m blunt. If you don’t like, go fuck yourself.

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