Archives for posts with tag: gross

angry guy yelling

That's how I felt on the inside.

It was about 3 years ago. I still remember it as if it was last night though. Thankfully it wasn’t.
I won’t bore you with details of how I met her but I’d like to add just one thing. I had met her years before this. Back then she was incredibly hot but we were both in relationships and never had the chance. Enough with all that. Here’s the story:

I should’ve known things weren’t going to be good when I had to pick her up at her work. Why you ask? Think about it. She didn’t get a chance to get ready. Or shower. Those things are important. You’ll see why further in the story.

So, I waited for her for half an hour as she finished her work. It was pointless to figure out ways of getting out of it. That didn’t stop me from considering it though.

If you noticed earlier in the story I said she was hot “back then”. Yeah. She wasn’t so hot anymore. My fiance and I had just broken up and I was holding on to my long lasting crush that had faded years back. I was determined to fuck this chick. I don’t know. Maybe I was trying to relive the past. Whatever it was, it was retarded. Back to the story.

After she finished work I followed her to her house so we could take one car and she could “freshen up” Looking back now, I should’ve thrown her in the shower. More on that later.
We spent way too much time at her house looking at random shit. Her place was a complete disaster. I’m not the neatest person in the world but she put a 13 year old boy to shame. I was ready for a drink. Or three.

The plan was drinks and billiards. Not too special but I did it for a reason. So I could drink and not give 100% of my attention to her. Classy.

When we got there things weren’t going too bad. I had hope. The chances were high for me getting laid. Read the rest of this entry »

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Today, while in the bathroom, standing in front of the urinal, something caught my eye. Curious as I am, I decided to investigate. Smeared against the wall, just underneath the handle, was the most hideously large booger just chillin’ there for everyone who needed to pee to take part in. My first thought: “That’s fuckin’ gross.” Second thought: “How the fuck did someone manage to get piss on TOP of the urinal?”

As a man you’re inevitably going to see/hear/smell some gross happenings in the bathroom. That’s life and I’m cool with that, but seriously, a nostril nugget AND piss on top of the urinal? Why? That’s completely unnecessary and shows that whoever did it is obviously not hygienic, and of course smooth, enough to ever get laid without paying for it. This goes the same for the guys who shoot snot out of their nose in public like it’s manliest thing to do. Grow up douchebag; we’re not in kindergarten. Read the rest of this entry »

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