Reasons Why You Won’t Get Laid: #21

There must have been a turning point in society making it acceptable to speak like a moron. Slang has taken the place of proper English and words purposely mispronounced. It may come from sheer ignorance but my guess is that it actually stems from a desire to be cool.

Presently, there’s a growing trend amongst guys who think it’s cool to write in the exact manner of which they speak – poorly/ghetto. I personally don’t mind if you write in the same manner of which you speak but not if you speak like a moron. Misspelling words for the sake of being cool is not only amazingly ignorant, it’s also annoying.

Why do guys think it’s cool to do this? My guess is they’re morons. If girls think this is acceptable then we’re all fucked. We don’t need any more idiots on this planet.

Everything we do has some sort of communication involved so if you make it hard for someone to understand you what do you expect to get out of life? Correct answer: Nothing.

Reasons Why You Won’t Get Laid: #36

Today, while in the bathroom, standing in front of the urinal, something caught my eye. Curious as I am, I decided to investigate. Smeared against the wall, just underneath the handle, was the most hideously large booger just chillin’ there for everyone who needed to pee to take part in. My first thought: “That’s fuckin’ gross.” Second thought: “How the fuck did someone manage to get piss on TOP of the urinal?”

As a man you’re inevitably going to see/hear/smell some gross happenings in the bathroom. That’s life and I’m cool with that, but seriously, a nostril nugget AND piss on top of the urinal? Why? That’s completely unnecessary and shows that whoever did it is obviously not hygienic, and of course smooth, enough to ever get laid without paying for it. This goes the same for the guys who shoot snot out of their nose in public like it’s manliest thing to do. Grow up douchebag; we’re not in kindergarten.